Memories
by Josiepops
Summary: Dean and Sam may be apart but their minds are still on the same track. Pre Season one. please review its my first fanfic!
1. Chapter 1

Biting his bottom lip Dean winced as he climbed into his Impala, he felt as rush of sanctuary over come him as the engine began to roar into action. He sat motionless for a while his mind reeling over everything. His mum's death, his father's abuse, losing the only women he ever loved and Sam. Good old Sam Winchester, brother extraordinaire, royal pain in the ass, the only person who truly knew Dean and left him for dead at the hands of his father.

Dean clenched his jaw tightly as his hands stiffened on the steering wheel. His back ached from being thrown against a tree by the spirit of a Tribal Indian, his right eye was already beginning to swell and his left cheek stung from the bloody gash the spirit had left.

Dean's hand hovered over the gear lever unsure whether to go back to the motel or not. He already felt like he'd gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson and didn't particularly want another seven with Lennox Lewis tonight.

Ever since Sam left for college Dean's relationship with his father had changed, not that he'd admit it to anyone. In the last six months John had become more and more aggressive towards his eldest. Dean began to feel increasingly more guilty for Sam's leaving, allowing him too much free will, not pushing him enough in training and forcing him to do his schoolwork and make him proud. Dean's child like nature was mainly down to the twenty-four years he'd spent being the adult, caring, raising and moulding Sam into the perfect child that any parent would be proud of, caring, hard working and polite, but the Winchester's were no ordinary family, grades didn't matter, to John it was all about the hunt, about revenge. All Dean wanted was revenge too until Sam took off, leaving a gaping feeling in his chest, he'd lost his brother, his son and his best friend, he no longer felt the need for revenge. It didn't take him long to realise that he only wanted revenge for Sam's sake, for not knowing a mother.

As a child Sam was forever asking questions about Mary, Dean told him everything he could remember and had learned over the years. Dean stuck to one tradition at night time to make safe feel as safe as he did as a child. Dean would tuck Sam into bed and tell him Angels were watching over him, until Sam began to protest at thirteen that he no longer needed to be put to bed. Dean continued to say it every night until Sam left. Despite the fact believed less and less everyday that angels existed, he'd seen too much evil to believe there was a higher power out there. He lost his faith the moment his father put a gun in his hand at the age of six, all innocence was lost.

Dean ducked his head and stared up at the moon and the immortal words "May angels watch over you Sammy". Sighing again knocked the car into gear and slammed his foot on the gas and the car screeched onto the road, heading for the motel.

Sam gazed up at the moon deep in thought, the only sound was his girlfriend, Jess's rhythmic breathing as slept in the bed behind him. Sam's mind wandered over the past and his body filled with guilt as he remembered all the heartache of growing up. He was grateful for everything he had had, a brother who always looked after him, who brought him up as well as anyone, who always pushed him to be the best. Sam wondered if it was Dean trying to live his life through Sam but whether or that was the truth Sam was glad he had the chances he did and had Dean on his side to fight against Dad and school bullies. Dean was just as intelligent if not more so then Sam but he always played dumb through sheer laziness, it used to infuriate Sam that his brother acted the way he did but still would never change him for the world.

Stanford was a big deal for Sam, sure he had gone a few years later then most but he wanted the opportunity to do something with his life other then hunt and drink like Dad or Dean. The day he left for college was forever burned into his memory, the look on John's face and the anger in his voice, the pain behind Dean's eyes covered the usual cocky smirk playing on his lips. Dad's final words rang constantly in Sam's head "If you leave don't come back!" Sam blinked back the tears and tore his eyes away from the glistening moon onto Jess, he sighed heavily and shook his head to rid itself of bad memories in a desperate plea to look to the future. A bright future anyone would be proud to have, a beautiful wife, a first class law degree from the fourth best school in the country but, there was always a but, his brother wasn't there to share any of it with. He wasn't there to see it all, crack stupid jokes, get drunk and pass out at inappropriate times. Sam had no one he trusted enough to confide in about the little insecurities and the big ones.

Sam glanced back out of the window at the moon one last time and smiled with a song in his heart thinking of the immortal words that Dean muttered every night until he left "may angels watch over you too Dean" Sam mumbled before crawling back into bed and pulling the sheets up over himself and Jess, protectively wrapping an arm around and hoping the nightmare wouldn't come tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

-1Dean kicked his boots off as he collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he fell backwards, waiting for Dad to return, he was due back tonight and no doubt he'd be looking for some one to take his anxiety out on. Dean wasn't sure how long he lay like that before sleep consumed him but as the sunlight shone upon his face there was still no sign of Dad. Panic set in. Rubbing his face sleepily Dean screamed in pain from his injuries from the previous night came shooting back.

As Dean showered his mind raced further over the scenarios his father could have been put in while battling a poltergeist but could not see one he couldn't get out of. No matter what John came up against he fought back without a second thought he was ruthless and care free when it came to violence and didn't Dean know it, he took no lip or abuse from anyone, smacking anyone or anything that irritated him in the slightest, Dean was frequently on the end of one of John's right hook's especially after a drink.

The warm water slid calmingly over Dean's aching body only fuelled his over active imagination as his sense's came back from the dreamland. Climbing out of the shower and drying himself off Dean tried to come up with a plan of action, all he could think of doing was ringing Sam but he knew Sam wouldn't answer. Throwing on his clothes he tried Dad's mobile, voicemail, Dean could feel his body beginning to stiffen as worry engulfed him once again. Dad had gone missing before but since then he'd always rung to say he'd be back later then expected. Dean pulled out the chair around the small table and tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the surface.

Last time Dad had gone missing without a word was back when he and Sam were kids. They'd been locked in a motel room together for nearly a week, Dean was about ready to climb the walls there was only so much he could take of Sam's constant questioning. Dean was still unsure on how to explain to his five year old brother where dad kept disappearing to. He was desperately trying to keep his brother innocent for as long as possible, Dean may have had his virtue ripped from him at a young age but he didn't want that for his baby brother. Dean was tired for staying awake at night to watch over Sam and being nagged into playing with him during the day and food was starting to run low. As instructed Dean had rung Pastor Jim but there had been no answer, he inwardly panicked trying not to worry Sam as he pestered him to read 'The Far Away Tree' again, Dean had protested knowing full well Sam could read it himself but Sam had given him puppy dog eyes and pouted saying he couldn't do the voices as well as Dean could. Dean rolled his eyes and began to recite the book while Sam followed in the book, as Dean continued to pace the motel room eagerly waiting for the phone to ring or the door to open.

Dean jumped to his feet and grabbed his old leather jacket and car keys and slammed the motel door behind him.

Sam awoke panting his body covered in sweat, his t-shirt and boxers clung to him, terror in his eyes and he search the room for signs of Jess. The bathroom light shone from under the door, and Sam heard her humming quietly as his senses returned to him. Breathing a sigh of relief he fell backwards on to the sweat drenched pillow and wrinkled his nose in disgust before reaching up and turning the pillow over. His heart was still racing and his breathing wavered, Sam snapped his eyes shut as his head began to pulsate with pain. He longed for the comfort that used to come after he had a nightmare, the soothing words, the reassuring touch. Sam's mind flickered back to his teenage years and his hunger for comfort grew.

Sam often awoke as a child from nightmares about all the things that go bump in the night, without saying a word Dean was there by his side, reassuring him that he was safe. Sam knew as long as Dean was around looking out for him he would never get hurt, but when he woke from seeing spirits and demons attacking his family and his brother was always there. Since he left the nightmares had stopped and now they were back, Jess pinned to the ceiling, on fire just like his father described his Mom the night she died. The nightmare of Jess seemed more really then ever and Sam wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and never let her out of his sight, he wanted to be able to collapse against the bed and talk it all through with Dean while Dad was still away on another hunt. He wanted to be able to cry and not be questioned just be teased in the same joking way Dean always did when Sam got too sappy. Sam smirked to himself at the memory. Once Sam had calmed down enough Dean would read to him, The Far Away Tree, Sam still knew the book by heart and assumed the Dean still knew it too. It was the first book Sam ever read by himself with Dean helping him with the difficult words but he always preferred Dean reading it as he used different voices for the characters, the memory washed of Sam relaxing his body and steadying his heart beat as his breathing began to even out, reciting the book in his head and the longing for family crept over him once again.

Sam jumped as he heard the door open from the bathroom, glancing at Jess dressed in her bathrobe he smiled, he had a family of his own to come all he had to do was ask the question. Sitting up he pulled Jess into him and kissed her lovingly, the memories fading faster then they arrived.


	3. Chapter 3

-1Dean's finger's hovered over the dial button as he sat in another run down diner on the edge of another backwards town. He stared at the screen wondering, hoping that Sam would answer. He weighed up the possibilities in his head and hit cancel. Sighing he took another swig of caffeine and stuffed his phone back in his jacket pocket, threw his money on the table and headed back to the Impala.

Night was beginning to fall as Dean hit the road again, there was a familiar chill in the air, Dean's mind flashed, bringing terrifying thoughts into the gloominess as he nervously rubbed the scar on his hair line.

Sam's eyes darted through the satin night as he walked across campus. Ears pricking at the smallest sound. Chills ran up and down his spin. Shifting his book bag up on his shoulder Sam and scanned the horizon as the feeling some one was watching him burned into the back of his neck. Reaching up his hand grazed the two small scars from what felt like a million years ago. His head filled with images and deafening fear.

At fourteen john believed that Sam was old enough to go on a hunt with Dean. Dean had protested as always not wanting the burden of watching his baby brother while he hunted despite Sam being almost as good at hunting as was, Dean still saw him as a liability, but that was down to his over protective nature when it came to Sam.

Dean slammed his foot on the gas as Sam's door thudded shut. They drove in silence, Dean's narrowed feeling the resentment building inside him, he clung onto his emotion knowing it would give him more drive when it came to beheading the vampire. Sam breathed quietly next to him, gearing his mind up for what was to come and trying to forget his Algebra homework. Dean parked the Impala about half a mile away from the vampires nest and climbed out, Sam followed quietly, deep in thought. Dean glanced sideways at his brother knowing Sam's mind wasn't on the game. Dean spoke as he opened the trunk, "Why don't you stay in the car dude?"

"I'm fine Dean I can do this." Sam picketed.

"Fine! But I'm not picking up your sorry ass when you get dropped on it." Dean spat icily as he tied his machete around his waist. Sam blinked and proceeded to pull out a crossbow and arrows drenched in dead man's blood.

The chill in the air was unnerving as it shot through the Winchester boys. Standing outside the entrance of vampires' nest Sam aimed the crossbow at the door waiting to meet what was on the other side. Dean mouthed one, two, three and opened the door. Sam waited anxiously for the vampire to appear. Dean shrugged and moved inside the nest, Sam following close behind, standing on tip toes to see over Dean. A noise in the corner of the room threw the Winchester's glance. Dean looked intently into the darkness for any sign of movement, reaching back he grabbed one of the arrows from Sam's back pack and held it ready. Sam screamed as an icy hand grasped him around the neck, Dean shot around and raised the arrow to the vampire but he disappeared into the still of night, Sam in his clutches. Dean cursed under his breath and raced after them just in time to see Sam taking a flying lesson straight onto the Impalas' bonnet.

"You'll regret that you son of a bitch!" Dean's voice was menacing as he ran at the vampire. The vampire laughed and grabbed Dean by his shirt and hurled him into the sky. Dean groaned as he landed with a crack, his head making friends with a jagged rock. Shaking it off Dean stumbled as he attempted to clamber to his feet, blood trickling down his face.

Sam groaned as he tried to lift his head of the Impala's windscreen. Dean shouted as he saw the vampire leering over his baby brother. Rage over took him and Dean charged at the vampire with everything he had, ignoring the screams of pain coming from his body. Dean impaled the vampire through the back as it began to feed on Sam's limp body, Dean's eyes widened in fright as he saw the blood oozing from the teeth marks. Snatching his machete Dean blindly beheaded the vampire as he fell to the floor, the poison coursing through its lifeless veins. Dean grabbed the head and drop kicked it into the woods before rolling Sam onto his back. "Sam? Sammy talk to me dude." Dean tapped Sam's cheek praying for a response.

"Look Dean its Mr Moon-Face." Sam muttered his eyes fluttering into the heavens. Dean smirked and glanced at the sky and nodded upon seeing the full moon.

"Yeah Mr Moon-Face in the Faraway Tree." Dean laughed.

Dean shook his head shaking the images from his head. Glancing at the moon he made the decision, pressed his foot to the floor and headed West.

Sam let out a long breath releasing the pictures from his memory. Looking up he saw the full moon and smiled. Wishing Dean was there.


End file.
